Lent is the time of year when people think of giving up something for 40 days that they are too fond of, for one of a variety of purposes. The motivations seem to vary from being trendy, to practicing self-discipline and testing endurance, to deepening a relationship with God.

I have always been reluctant to sign up for anything where deprivation is a major component. Even self-discipline, deprivation’s cousin, must have clear benefits before I agree to it. So giving up something for Lent was not something I did for most of my life. Even the ego boost I got from the accomplishment didn’t outweigh the lack. I also knew self-satisfaction was the wrong motivation for giving up my pet habits, which by the way, keeps the sugar industry robust.

That all changed when I heard an Episcopal priest nod approvingly at my growling stomach one hungry Sunday morning and (I think) he said, “That’s good. I make an empty space in my stomach before church so God can fill it up.” Suddenly the 40 day fast wasn’t deprivation, but a deliberate space we usually fill up with other things but we hold open for God. The point is removing that which distract us away from God.

For anyone who has experienced deprivation as part of neglect, trauma or bad luck, Lent fasting is probably especially difficult. I also notice early trauma can create a difficult relationship with food in general. So I thought about how this idea of Lent could help the frustrated dieters that come to therapy. Deprivation clearly is not a good strategy if one has a history of deprivation, given that some research indicates that 97% of all diets one either doesn’t lose weight or gains weight, except for short term losses. What if we invite God into our emptiness and hunger, knowing it is really a relationship with the Divine we want as it satiates, comforts, and even imparts joy?

What if we admitted to God that this is what we really want, but food or alcohol is a quick but imprecise and vague imitation of the feelings that eventually emerge out of a relationship with God? If we need a concrete symbol, we could even set a place at the table for God, reminding ourselves of God’s involvement in this part of our lives.

Lenten fasting was originally a commemoration of the 40 days Jesus spent with God in the desert, and he was able to resist temptation by staying in constant touch with God. In the same way, even in our desert if we invite God into our thoughts and struggles, Lent becomes truly a holy time.